Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Mental Health and Parenting

I have read statements in the past on the fact that courts do not recognize Parental Alienation Syndrome commonly known as PAS. Which is fine with me, but when one parent prevents, inhibits, interferes, manipulates and generally disrupts the relationship between children and the other parent it should be called something. How about Evil? I like this since it's short and catchy. Looks like PAS may win the day, but if not I hope my self titled clinical diagnosis for this type of behavior of "Evil" will catch on.
The oddest stance I have seen on this subject has been one writers view that this "so called" issue of parental alienation is simply not real. How do you respond to crazy people living in denial?

Here are some things that I have witnessed first hand:
-Children kidnapped by one parent from the other parent for 42 days with no contact (legal in many states).
-One parent accuses other of verbal and physical abuse to limit kids time with other parent (all claims were later proven to be false).
-One parent phone calls are not returned for weeks and in some cases months at a time.
-Children are not told that other parent is attempting to call or contact them in any manner.
-Birthday, Christmas cards from one parent are thrown in trash without children knowing.
-Strangers are first to babysit or even pick up kids from school daycare before other parent.
-Children are told other parent should be dead.
-Children are told other parent is very bad.
-Children are told they will be punished if they run over to other parent at school functions.
-Children are introduced to new dates and told repeatedly this could be your new daddy or mommy.
-Parent tells all who will listen other parent is very bad and in turn those third parties help isolate other parent.
-Parent assaults other parent, verbally and physically, in front of kids. Later claims it was actually other parents fault.
-Parent threatens kids and convinces them to tell other parent to never call them again.
-Children repeatedly told other parent hates them and they are bad children.
-Children repeatedly told all soldiers/doctors or any other profession of other parent are bad people.
-Children are told other parent could hurt them at any moment.
-Children conveniently over hear stories that imply all types of abuses.
-Children told lies about their childhood from ages they were too young to remember painting a mental picture that other parent is bad.

The worst part is that I can go on listing horrific mental, emotional and psychological abuses I have seen. So the court system is slow in recognizing PAS along with the mental health community. I don't care if it has an official term or not, but the issue of bad parenting is real and it's harming children all over this planet.

What can we do as parents? Great question and I don't have all of the answers. I can confidently say that this is a situation in which fighting fire with fire does not work. We parents do need to encourage other parents around us that this behavior is not acceptable. If any of the points above fit what one of your fellow parents is doing then I urge you to call them on it. Worse case you lose a bad friend, but the best case you could be that person to wake the other parent up and ultimately help those children suffering the abuses.

Read about PAS:


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