Monday, November 8, 2010

Are Dads equal parents?

Are Dads equal parents?  Obviously not.  Let's face it, us Dads are all but useless during pregnancies and delivery.  I'm sure yellow cab can get get Moms to the hospital when the time arises and a ventilator can make the stupid breathing sounds coming from Dads lips in the delivery room.  If Mom feels that she is missing the panicked support of a Dad in the delivery room, well she can just yell out, "Oh my God, they have a gun", then watch all those in the hospital freak out.  Then in the middle of the night when the baby is crying to be fed, well Mom can just dial some random number and tell the person on the end of the line to check on the baby.  Since Dads, nor the poor person you just woke up, can help with breast feeding, Moms can achieve the same result in waking a useless 3rd party before Mom herself slogs off to feed the baby.  Ok, so Dads can change a diaper or two, but do Dads ever really do this properly?  I don't think so.  Then if Moms get a live in Nanny, why on earth are we even contemplating Dads role over the next 18 years?  Beats me.  Dads don't love their children, at least not like a mothers love....right?

Many states family code, must agree with the above description and role of Dads in children's lives.  States understand this so well, that they even have accounted for potential costs of a Nanny in coming up with Child Support.  States clearly understand that it's in the Moms best interest to minimize Dads role in custody agreements.  Oops, did I say Moms best interest?  I meant to say in the child's best interest, my bad.  2, maybe, 3 weekends a month and some time during the summer is a lot for a useless breathing sack of flesh disguised as a parent.  Heck, being a Dad can be punishable with prison time.  The State clearly knows what is best.  Funny that attorneys often help write the Family Code and it must be a coincidence that you need to hire an attorney for just about everything with child custody and visitation.  Attorneys need the income, we're in a recession after all.

Never mind the following when fathers are active in their children's lives:
-Children perform better in school
-Higher birth weights
-Support for Moms to quit smoking during pregnancy
-Less likely to live in poverty
-Reduce chances of children being sexually abused
-Less anxiety in children
-More empathy
-Less likely for children to use drugs
-Less likely for children to drink alcohol
-Less likely for children to engage in pre-martial sex

The list goes on, but really do any of the above things matter?  Dads are completely useless and should continue to be treated as second class parents.  Even parade magazine online poll asking, "Should divorced Dads get equal time with their kids?" had an almost astounding 36% of respondents stating NO.  See....the masses have spoken both loudly and clearly.  Obviously 64% of respondents didn't understand the question.
Parade magazine online poll:

So given the overwhelming logic of the above; why are Dads forming support groups, spending oodles of money in custody fights, changing jobs, moving across the country, and exercising the trivial amount of custody time they are allowed under State law to see their children?  The deck is obviously stacked against them, so why don't Dads just give up and accept their title of, "Deadbeat Dad"?  Catchy isn't it?.

Just one word that keeps Dads going, "LOVE".  Dad just remember, you're not alone, your children have no choice, it's not about Mom vs. Dad, children need both parents, and don't give up.


1 comment:

  1. This brought tears to my eyes. Custody of children is the worse thing out of divorce. Someone wins and someone loses. Usually dad loses. It's not fair, it's not right, it's not how God planned for families to live. It is painful to be the parent with the short end of the stick, but it makes it worse when you know your kids are hurting too. All I can do is pray and not dwell on it. Be the best parent I can. God Bless you. You are an amazing father, one deserving of all that fatherhood was meant to be.


Speak your mind!