Why I bother to look at our local newspapers website is beyond me, but after seeing some protest this past weekend I was curious if there was any news about it. On the www.chron.com homepage I see a link on the website titled, "Ten Good Things about being a Single Mom". Like usual curiosity got the better of me and in a second or two I could guess the 10 bullet points were going to be very questionable. The piece is written by Mindy Sterba who titles herself as a, "Parenting Survivor". Parenting Survivor..really? Is parenting torture and thus we are all survivors? I love being a father and consider parenting a blessing, honor, and just a whole lot of fun. Then again Mindy could be just trying to set the tone that somehow she is a, "Victim" of something. Who knows and it's just Mindy's self given title and I'm probably reading too much into it.
So what are 10 good things about being a single mom according to Mindy?
1.) Some years you get appreciated on both Mother's and Father's day (Violet? Reggie? Are you reading this?)
2.) There's no one else for them to run to after you've told them "no".
3.) There's no waiting 'until their father gets home' for their punishment. You can ground them on the spot...for as long as you like.
4.) If you send the kids to bed without supper...you don't have to cook at all.
5.) It's way cheaper to go out and do things...dinner, movies amusement parks, etc.
6.) There's no one to tell me that I'm being too 'girly' with my son and not 'girly' enough with my daughter.
7.) No one person has sole possession of the remote control. (It's usually lost somewhere with the batteries taken out).
8.) When the empty milk carton is found in the refrigerator, the suspects list is narrowed down considerably.
9.) There's room in the refrigerator for something besides beer.
10.) Nobody else tells you how to raise your children, unless you're a blogger....then everyone tells you how to raise your children.
I'm almost speechless on these 10 items above and I had to go back and check the title of the blog entry. This is really a 10 good thing list? Well the freedom of speech is still alive so why am I concerned about this 10 good things list? Here's why:
1) On some father's days Mindy's kids don't get to see their father? Poor kids.
2) Nobody else for Mindy's kids to run to? Poor kids.
3) Number 3 is great when you can ground kids for as long as you like. No wait, how about only grounding them based upon what's appropriate. Then again, if you're grounding your kids for the right reason wouldn't dad agree when he gets home?
4) What exactly do kids do that warrants withholding food? I have not encountered that situation, nor can I envision a situation to not feed my kids.
5) It is cheaper financially I'll give you, but it's a very high price for your kids to pay both psychologically and emotionally for a missing parent.
6) It's sad that there is not someone else to share and swap parenting styles and ideas with to come up with and try different approaches to challenges.
7) I'm a little lost on this one, since I don't see how that ties to being a single mom as opposed to just being single.
8) At this point I'm completely lost on how this made a 10 good things list.
9) Hmmmm, I have a second fridge for beer, wine, and juice boxes.
10) Poor kids is all I can say.
Read Mindy's blog post here: http://blogs.chron.com/goodmombadmom/2010/04/ten_good_things_about_being_a.html
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I love your answers! They are right on. I don't see any plusses about being a single mom. Granted, I don't have my boys all the time, but when they are with me, it would be nice to have a team. It's not easy making the decisions by myself without another's advice or wisdom. It's hard to discipline a child when you have no back up. It's just not right that children have to grow with their parents separated or one completely out of the picture. It happens, but it isn't a great thing.
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