Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I hate you!

I have really never cared a whole hell of a lot as to what other people think about me. I’m good with me, but when the words of “I hate you” came from my son it hit me rather hard. Since those words first ripped across my ears and sunk into my heart with more precision than a smart bomb. I have been fortunate enough to hear those words from my daughter as well!

Well this is getting to be a downright cheery blog!

It first appeared and has ever since from times when I have sat down with my children and told them that tomorrow they will be going back to mommy’s house. For awhile I took as a key indicator as to something terrible in the works while at their mommy’s, but since have changed my view somewhat to that my kids are just hurting and looking to express themselves living in a divided home. My children had no say in the matter, but children get the luxury of living the worst part of the breakup as movable pawns between the two people they love most.

With my abundant parenting skills and my keen confidence in my ability to outwit my two children I very cheerfully have responded to both of my children saying, “That’s ok because I love you”. Wow, I’m a genius. At least the genius thought went through my head for a split second before reality swept back in. Well, the chess match was not over yet and I was about to come face to face with my overwhelming stupidity. The only logical move when trying to assert oneself at a very young age is to fire back with the ammunition given. I say I love you and my children in desperate times respond back with, “Well I don’t love you!”

Crap! Daddy down, someone dial 911! No wait- before I rushed off to consult with such professionals as Dr. Jack Daniels or other solutions it occurred to me. We attack when we feel safe enough to. At least that’s the nation of reality or denial I have chosen to reside in. When the words of I don’t love you came from my children at different times, I kneel down to their eye level and just smile and plainly tell them that you have a right to your opinion, but no matter what you say or do- “I love you!”. Love is a one way street, but I’ll discuss this more another time.

May you be fortunate and blessed enough for your children to tell you, “I hate you and I don’t love you”. May you hear the words for what they actually are, that your children do in fact love you and feel safe enough to lash out at you.


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