Tuesday, December 2, 2008

What's wrong with being nice?

I have tried for years to be truly nice with my ex, but as many of you know it is not always the easiest undertaking. I’m sure my ex shares this same exact sentiment and no it’s not because I am imperfect. I am one of the very few perfect individuals on this planet. Every once in awhile it is true that I can be a little pig headed and stubborn, like in the morning or around lunch and in the afternoon. Ok, so I left out in the evenings and at night as well. Other than those times I am truly perfect, but I better get to my point.

It’s hard to be nice sometimes and I have even lived with the illusion that if I’m nice and sincere it will be returned. That’s a load of bunk. More so, it doesn’t matter if your sincerity and niceties are returned. Very recently things have turned for the better and I hope this is permanent. I think one reason is in part to the peace I have found with my ex. It took me awhile to stop being angry with my ex and it took me longer to truly love her as the mother of our children. I thought I had mastered this long ago, but I find it hard to hate and love at the same time. So I let one go, the past is past and we have two incredible children that need all the love we can muster, that I can bring into their lives. Good for me! It took me only a couple of years to figure out that if you love your children the first thing you need to do is love their mother. Simple, right?.

Talking with a family member recently who has witnessed the years of fighting and our seemingly endless desire to pay for our attorney’s vacation homes was stunned when I said it’s actually good between my ex and me. I even told this family member that recently I thanked my ex for something on the phone by calling her an Angel. (I think that stunned my ex for the record). This family members response; you’re not going to get back together are you?. No! Why does being nice to an ex imply to others that you want and/or are going to get back together with them? It makes me think society wants ex’s and more so, expects ex’s to fight. Fighting in the UFC is awesome, fighting with your ex and others sucks! Pretty simple really. Life is short, so stop fighting and get on with your life!


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