Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Child Support Charade

I have no idea if the polls on KINGDADS have any scientific merit, but at least they are indicative as to who is reading my blog. My personal view on child support has dramatically changed now that I find myself in the child support system. From a day one mindset that I will gladly pay to today that has me wondering how such a systems came to be. When both parents have all the same expenses for their children and share time with their children equally I find myself wondering why one parent pays the other. Other random items include finding out that child support is not tax deductible, huh? A little research into where child support came from and I'm a little dismayed that it began from the welfare system. To help offset costs of single parents claiming benefits the state started going after the other absentee parent. This has now expanded to include all parents who have separated and subject to child custody agreements.
Ultimately my view can be best summarized that I believe each situation is different. When one parent is absent, not capable, or does not exercise his or her right to spend time with their children, then I can see the merits of child support. It's the minimum a parent can do. When you have two parents who spend equal time with their children, then I'm at a loss why one parent and ultimately the children are penalized and forced to pay to the other parent. If your a single parent or in the process of becoming one, I beg you to take a hard look at this situation from both sides. Dad's typically are the parent subject to child support, but this is trending more to mom's as dad's gain primary custody more and more. I don't care which gender you are, look at this from the other parents view. If both parents share equal time and thus equal expenses for their children, why on earth would one parent pay the other. Make no mistake, it directly impacts your children and I will argue that it is a negative impact. This system fosters hostility between two parents, lowers the children's lifestyle at one of their homes. Alienates parents and children from each other in cases where one parent is forced to work more to compensate for the added child support costs and forced to minimize visitation rights. Alienates one parent from full involvement in day care and/or private schools, since they typically get a cold shoulder from these institutions as the parent who does not pay these businesses. The answer, but I pay child support is met with a look of apathy.
If you want to fight more and foster as much hostility as possible between yourself and your children's mother or father. Then please pursue child support to the fullest. Your children will love the constant battles between the two people they love most. (Yes it's sarcasm)
If you love your children and the other parent is as involved as your custody agreement permits, then I ask you to drop the child support.


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