Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Do fathers need encouragement?

I'm sure some of you caught the recent top 10 list of the worst fathers published by Men's Health recently. My first thought is who came up with this idea for a top 10 bad dad list and I wonder if they have a top 10 list for great dads as well. Then again, our culture seems to be obsessed with male bashing in general and what makes a better target than a father? I mean when compared to the iconic mother figure/image we should consider just taking all fathers out behind the wood shed and putting one round between their eyes. Then again who would become the next whipping boy? Yes, I'm wondering slightly about the whereabouts of a top 10 list for the worst mother's as well. There is obviously no point to a top 10 mothers list since the drum beat continues on that all mothers are great and dads are bad. has a blog called, "The Father Factor", and recently brought up this same article in Men's Health and bless their hearts for they couldn't help themselves but to point out another bad dad. Thank the lord above that a group called the National Fatherhood Initiative was there to help bolster fathers nationwide and add number 11 to the top 10 list of worst fathers. Maybe could provide instructions on how to find a wood shed and to pull the trigger as well. Their blog went on to assert that fathers do need encouragement, but I get the feeling I may not agree on what kind and why fathers need encouragement. Oh look and I was right that I don't agree with their reason fathers need encouragement for they state that us fathers need to work on our "fathering skills". You can read their blog here:

I do think that "some" fathers need encouragement. The reason of why do any fathers need encouragement should be asked. The brick wall known as our family court leaves some fathers in bloody pieces crumpled against it after child custody battles. The best part is that it is only the beginning of the legalized discriminatory practice of tearing parents and their children apart. It's probably better that many unsuspecting great fathers aren't aware of the 3 headed dragon lurking down at their local court house just licking it's teeth for more blood. The realm of ignorance can help shattered fathers stand back up with the ill conceived notion that the worst is over. To tell many that the child custody agreement forged in blood is only the beginning and for some poor souls it "will" only get worse from there can be too much for some. The attorneys, executioners, demons of the 5th realm, or any other fitting name have too much invested in getting your State's family code just so to let any parent to simply walk away after the initial carnage. With their willing partner in crime hiding behind the guise of news, entertainment, or even a supportive father group and then you get legal and socially acceptable father bashing. Let the games begin. Ok, so becoming a single parent is not something I wish upon my worst enemy. The initial shock of losing your children 50% of the time, in good cases, and losing your children entirely can overwhelm the best father. That's only a small part of it and I could argue the easiest part is over, but there is nothing easy or good in this process. More so I find it extremely disturbing that entities exist, backed by State law, to make an already impossible situation even worse. Too many issues exist post divorce as to why and how being a single parent can be almost unbearable. It is this post divorce and continuing situation that I can concur that "some" fathers do need encouragement. To those fathers I say hang in there for your kids are pulling for you and if you don't fight for them then nobody else will. Navy SEALs say, "The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday". This holds true in everyday life and especially true for single parenting. The stakes are extremely high and the reward is immeasurable and when you kiss your kids good night and you hear a little voice tell you that I love you daddy. Game on then and just laugh that in spite of so many efforts to destroy you that you are still in this fight and that you are ready for more. You are not alone.

Some points/opinions/guidelines that could help:
-The worst parent in the world will be loved and missed by a child somewhere
-You're the most hated sex on the planet, plus nobody likes a father. Who cares and welcome to the club.
-If you don't fight for your kids, then who will?
-Their are 3 sides to this battle; Yours/Your Exes/Your Kids. Pick your kids side, nobody else will.
-Do you hate your ex more than you love your kids? Hint: You love your kids more.
-Love your ex and "NEVER" defame them in front of your kids. Never to do it is a better practice.
-Yesterday is over and tomorrow you can be a great parent. It's never too late, but you must start today.
-Your children need you more than ever. Always!
-Give your kids a big hug in the morning and say, "Morning Sunshine".
-Thank God for each and every second with your kids.


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