Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Single Guy Vs. Single Dad Pt.1

Being a single parent is tough, but being just plain single can be equally as tough. Put the two together and the result can be intensive therapy and medication. Given I'm not in therapy and I avoid any prescription medications, I might as well bore the world with my rants on this blog.
For you single parents looking for some fellowship, advice, opinions, and a chance to possibly meet that someone special then take a look at: www.singledad.com. As I understand the free membership is comprised of about 40% single moms. For really bad advice on single parenting dating then keep reading my blog.
Since we all know or have known the world of being single I will stay out of the flooded landscape of opinions on the pros and cons of being single in general. Being a single parent if very different and for each of us it is a unique recipe for success and failure. No matter the circumstances that led to you becoming a single parent there are rules one must follow and at some point you will be confronted with two paths to follow. Path A- What is right for you and your children. Path B- What is right for you alone. Path A seems the easy choice, but I see too many stray and in full disclosure I don't blame those that do. Assuming that they get back on track and do what is right for their family sooner rather than later.
I've developed some personal rules that apply to me and I created them to keep my life as simplistic as possible. One rule I follow is not to date other single moms at my children's school and this can be a very tough one. One of the pitfalls of being single in general is just meeting people and then to exclude a group due to geography will not work for all. It works for me and unfortunately this rule I developed after going down this path the wrong way. It's hard enough to try and break through the wall of moms who have an iron grip on all functions at my children's school and the legions of husbands watching the single dad like a hawk try and integrate with their wives. Then throw in that you are dating many of the moms and you get a ticking time bomb ready to go off and exclude you and your kids from some of the best parenting events with your kids school. On the upside on my rule is that now my biggest issue is politely and politically declining to be set up by the legions of moms. Oh the horror of having an arsenal of women acting as your personal dating service trying to set you up, and I would guess the reverse is true for the single moms. Not all my rules have such an upside and I made the next rule solely out of the example I want to set for my children. I'm sure that I have left many confused woman in my wake, since I'm a very friendly guy, but failed to ask some woman out or for a number. Why? When I am with my children I do not pick up women, ever. This is the toughest one sometimes, but my first and foremost focus is my children and I don't relish the idea of them growing up with memories of dad picking someone up out at the park instead of the time we have together.
It is the combination of these two rules that create the conflict of single guy vs. single dad. I realize that the two above mentioned rules can be extreme and more so they can take discipline to follow. The discipline required is not something one can easily turn on and off and single guy doesn't like single dad sometimes in my world. The conflict really comes in when I both encounter someone with and without my children. What category do I put them in and what is the appropriate rule? After years of research I can confidently say that I have absolutely no idea. When in doubt then single dad wins. If you have been one of those confused women, then my apologies and I know a great guy I can set you up with.


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