Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Clarifying yesterday's post "Sharing is Crap"

Some of you got my point, but unfortunately others completely missed it and so I'll expand upon it.

Sharing is a great benevolent act and trait we can help our children to develop.  My point is when I see parents force children to share, then in fact it can no longer be called sharing.  Rather than teaching kids to share, I believe we are only enforcing kids to hold on to your items for as long as possible when you confiscate something from them to give to another.  This post came from when I saw a parent recently confiscate a toy from their child and give it to another child, all in the name of sharing.  What are you teaching your kids when you take from them to give to another?  I guarantee it's not sharing.

I think most kids love to share, but only love to do so when they are encouraged and that they feel safe to do so.  More directly, when they don't have a fear that someone is going to take anything away from them.  The balancing act is getting kids to share when they have no desire to, but it has to be their choice.  Sometimes they will say no and I think we need to allow some No's to happen, in order to get more Yes's.  I've never forced my own kids to share and I find it fascinating that a majority of the time they both have a strong willingness to share with others.  Often times they want to give away what I consider is too much, but it has and will always continue to be their choice.


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