The dangers of peeing on a tree

I’m working from home one day and I look out my back window to see my son peeing on the fence. Lord only knows that I have peed on everything I could growing up, but in full disclosure I really suck at peeing my name into the snow. Moving on, I go into the back yard to ask my son why he didn’t just go to bathroom inside to pee? I should know better than to ask obvious questions at this point, but I really can’t help myself. He replied by saying, “I peed all over the tree and thought the fence needed pee too”. How utterly foolish I was for not realizing that the fence was probably feeling left out. He went on to ask me to pee on the tree with him, but he’s out of pee now. That’s when my daughter chimed in, “Its ok daddy, I’ll pee on the tree with you”. Oh good, just the words every dad wants to hear from his daughter. Is pee good for a tree? When exactly did my kids first need for peeing outside start? Later that night when we were picking out books for our bedtime story, I asked my kids why they wanted to pee on the tree. It turns out to have started at my family’s ranch ,where we pee on trees of course. Thus the root of peeing on trees was clear. Since then the welcoming experience of my kids peeing in public have included such proud moments as peeing in the backyard at a friends house, peeing on the local playground, and attempting to pee on a tree outside of church. I blame my dad, but then again I peed on a friend of mine’s restaurant not all that long ago. Nope, I’ll blame my dad. Ha.

The dangers of peeing on a tree