Thursday, February 28, 2008

Single Father? What do your kids need most?

Children need and want your time! Simply put: Time = Love

But Kaz the legal system, law makers, courts, judges, media, advertisers, attorneys, society, my ex and my ex's family are all against me. This is awesome since you know where these people stand. It is also extremely sad since these people don't seem to understand that by attacking you they are attacking your kids. The reverse is true if you attack your ex, then you yourself are in fact attacking your kids. Time to choose! Understand you have three choices in choosing sides. Your ex's side, your side, and your kids side. The people mentioned above have chosen your ex's side. I emplore you to choose your kids side and only your kids side. I chose my kids side and you can stand with me or against me, but frankly I don't care which side you choose. Your kids care which side you choose and you should as well! Ask yourself this: If I don’t fight for my kids, then who will?

You are not going to change anyone’s opinion, only they can change their own opinions so stop trying! I’m not advocating to go have a fight physically, verbally, emotionally, or legally with any of the aforementioned parties. Then what am I saying? In any war you must understand the rules of engagement and you must define those rules based on key objectives in order to reach the end result. To reach your key objectives you must solely focus on that which you CAN control and not what you have no control over. The end result and the only result that matters is to be a healthy guiding and active force in your kids lives in order to give them the love and support your kids need and deserve. What is the first key step to achieve this? Time. Time is the most precious gift you can give your kids. Time is what your kids need most.

Watch out for the time trap by asking yourself, “Am I spending time around my kids or with my kids”? Here is a basic idea to help you get started and you can use it this coming weekend or today. Spend one hour doing whatever your kids want to do (an hour in their world) then spend one hour doing something you want to do with your kids (an hour in your world). It never ceases to amaze me that when I do some mundane work around the house, my kids want to see it and participate. Granted make sure it’s something safe for your children.

But Kaz if my kids participate, then it will take forever or they will make a mess. Your right and I have had to redo some things later on and I have cleaned many things after my kids are asleep. I painted a wall with my kids and that painted wall is a source of pride and a memory that can’t be bought or replaced. The wall looks like a Picasso painting, but it’s our wall and more valuable than any Picasso. Our wall is truly “Priceless”. Our wall was created by the love that comes from our time together. Go spend some time with your kids!


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